Kiss Me Again - Chapter 2: "All I Need"

Edward

My heart was pounding loudly and it all felt like a blur. I’ve been walking around these streets for God knows how long, unable to determine where to go or what to do. I just couldn’t wrap my head around what happened. Fragments were coming back to me: the anger and upset look of my Dad face, the sadistic satisfaction on the face of my new mother-in-law, Tanya, the distress and incomprehension on Emmett’s.

I leaned against a wall on the side of the road, trying to hide myself from the world. I so desperately wanted this flow of emotions to stop.

Though I didn’t plan on coming out during the traditional Sunday’s brunch, it just kind of happened. A guest made a joke about homosexuals, mentioning the son of one of his competitors. They all laughed hard, and I blurted it out, thinking about Jasper and his Dad, his lost chance to discover his son.

Three little words to turn my life up side down.

I didn’t even realize saying it out loud. The collective gasp of the guests made me register it. The general surprise wasn’t what shocked me. The reaction of my father was the one, that haunted me the most. He was ashamed of me, angry to feel like a fool in front of his guests. Summoning me to his desk, he didn’t even look at me once. He didn’t ask any questions either. I was waiting for “Are you sure?” or “Since when?”, but he was only preoccupied by what his guests would say. Family troubles on our Sunday brunch weren’t something that was supposed to happen.

There were no questions but a huge amount of annoyance and anger. How could I do that to him? How could I put him in this position in front of his potential clients? Did I even think about the consequences for Emmett’s carrier? No, I was just being selfish, thinking only about me and throwing it at the face of the world with my deviant habits? Why couldn’t I shut up and have a double life like any “respectful” gay? I could have gotten married and given an heir to the family. But no, the temptation was too great; I had to out cast myself, and, most importantly, my family. I was basically ruining everything he worked for.

During all his rambling, the only thing I heard was that he didn’t care about me. At all. I was just another pawn in his master plan for climbing the social ladder. How fucking hilarious! How painful! How horribly meaningless I felt. I was just a thing he possessed. No more no less. And like old clothes, he could throw me away once I became useless. He rejected his son, without so much as a glance back.

“You have embarrassed me beyond words. Get out! I don’t want to see you again! ”

“Dad?”

“Don’t! Not right now. I just wish you weren’t my son.”

Replaying the whole scene in my head, over and over again, I couldn’t breathe. The pain from the rejection was too harsh. I was in full panic mode: the foundations of my life had just been destroyed, and my inner-self was falling apart. With no more ground under my feet, I was falling into an endless pit of darkness. Until a hand appeared and caught me.

Jasper.

Without realizing it, I had walked to his flat and was standing in front his door. I suddenly needed him like I needed air. I needed to feel him, touch him, and breathe him in. I needed his comfort, his strength, and his love. I knocked at the door and waited for him.

And then, Jasper opened it. I attacked him, grabbing his neck with one hand, crashing my lips to his, and pushing my tongue into his mouth. Our bodies collided and I could feel his hardening cock against my hip.

Love me; show me you care; show me I am worthy.

Every lap of my tongue against his, every pressure of my hands on his back and his neck, every move I made was just a plea towards him.

He tried to push away from me, but I couldn’t let him go. Not now. Not after today. I needed him. Letting him breathe, I kissed and nipped at his jaw, descending to his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to me. My hand wandered under his shirt and up, touching his bare skin. I pressed my cock against him, showing my need for him. He tried to shove me away, his hands pushing against my shoulders.

“Please Jasper…” I begged into his neck, breathing him in. I needed him to heal me, to close the hole in my heart, to show me that I wasn’t just a mean to an end.

He took my face in his hands and obliged me to look at him. All I saw was concern, tented with love and lust. He moved his lips, wanting to speak, but I cut him with a finger, shaking my head no.

“Please… just…love me…” I could feel tears forming in my eyes.  I was desperate for his concession. I would not be able to handle another rejection tonight. So I implored him silently, knowing if the dam broke loose, I would drown in an ocean of despair that was awaiting me. He was frowning, trying to decipher my reaction. Studying my face, noting the distress, his eyes softened and I thought I saw love before determination settle in them. Brushing his thumbs on my cheeks, he came closer and kissed me softly. Deepening the kiss, I choked in my relief. He wasn’t abandoning me. A man I’d known for barely four weeks was ready to accept me. Me. Without words, just proving to me with his kisses, his tender caresses along my body, his impossibly hard cock now grinding against mine that he was there… for me.

He made me wait three long dates just for a kiss, and now... well, this was worth the wait.

Desperate or not, this was... this felt... so right.

He guided me to the bedroom and removed my clothes, his caresses so soft, so full of tenderness. He pushed me on the bed and hovered above me. Clad only in my boxers, I felt his hands roam over my bare chest, like a balm for my troubled mind. Even the sweet, resinous aroma that was typically Jazz was comforting me. Closing my eyes, I found my solace in his touch. I was cocooned in a bubble, where no one could hurt me. All I could feel was his love wrap around me. I needed it closer to me. So I grabbed Jasper by his shoulders pulling him against me, reveling in the weight of his body on mine, in his warmth.

Wrapping myself around him, our legs became tangled mess; my hands became lost in his hair. His heart was beating fast, echoing mine, yet his seemingly calm ones answered each of my anxious beats. It strangely soothed me.

I had lost a piece of myself tonight, and the emptiness seemed to grow bigger with each step away from the family house. Being in Jasper’s arms, I felt protected, yet still, incomplete.

“Jasper?”

Supporting himself on his elbows, he looked down at me, smiling tentatively.

“I need to know where I belong.”

Softly resting his forehead on mine, he nudged gently the tip of my nose and kissed it.

“I need you inside me.”

He closed his eyes tightly at my last whisper, biting his lips, his whole body shivering over me. Catching his breath, he asked: “You’re sure?”

I just nodded, brushing my lips on his hesitantly and sighed in his mouth when he deepened the kiss. All uncertainty faded and he took the lead: He drew himself up, sitting on my lap and undressing himself. The determination was back on his face as well as what I thought was love. Leaving only his black underwear on, he came back above me, consuming my naked chest and neck with bites and wet kisses. Each one of his touches was filing my emptiness, feeding me with love and giving me back my strength. His breaths on my shaft, one hand sliding under my ass and the other tugging down at my boxers proved me the force of his desire for me. Capturing my cock in his lips, he was nursing me back to life.

My moans increased, following the rhythm he had while taking me all in. I needed so much more: parts of him around me weren’t nearly enough. He must have heard my frustrated whimpers as his fingers traveled down my body and found their destination, pressing against me. They were surprisingly slick with lube and entering me deliciously slow. I arched towards him, mind and body desperate to feel more of Jasper. But he took his time, listening to my groans to adapt the tempo of this thrust as he prepared me. Once I was a whimpering mess, he let go of me. From the noises I heard next, he was throwing away his underwear, putting a condom on and adding lube before coming back to me. Kissing his way back up, he rested one hand on my face, brushing his thumb on my cheek. His gaze finally met mine, his stormy blue eyes making sure one last time that it was what I wanted. I might have lost a family but I had him. Maybe it was all I had left, but it was all I needed. So grabbing his hair, I pulled him to my lips and whispered: “Take me Jasper.”

With a low moan, he entered me and I cried out. Silencing my cries with his tongue, he shared the pain and discomfort with me. He made me forget everything but him, with every lap of his tongue, every inch of him going deeper inside of me. I felt light-headed, drunk in the feel of him, in his scent, in his touch. His thrusts lulled away all details of this awful day, filling me with promises of beautiful memories together. Holding on to him, I rode the waves of pleasure he was sending through me. I was unable to keep any coherent thoughts, and only felt my body's reactions to Jasper’s desire: flashes of warm colors on my eyelids, tingling sensation running throughout my whole body, sobs climbing in the back of my throat, and wetness on my cheeks. I heard needy moans in my ears. I felt the increasing coming and going from his cock inside me, mine brushing repetitively against his hard abs. My hands gripped his soft curly hair, his tightened on my hips and neck.

Breathless, I felt my whole body contract as if I was shrinking into a small ball in my lower back. The ball was throbbing, too full of energy, ready to burst out. Which it did, a second later, extending back to its original size, forcing small pieces of me out of my body, sending me in overdrive, until darkness surrounded me.

“Love?”

First a tender voice. Then air on my skin; fingers brushing what I realized was my face; flickers of light settling on blood red lips, forming into a smile for me. Jasper.

 “You’re back with me?”

“Hmm.…” Regaining consciousness of my body, I found myself on my side, cuddled against Jasper, my face resting on his fast-beating heart. I moved closer to him, not even stopping when I felt a sticky mess covering his abs. I felt too contented to care.

Jasper tried to untangle himself, keeping the condom in place with one hand, ready to pull out.

“Don’t. Stay inside.” My whisper spread goose bumps all over his chest. I wanted this blissful moment to last forever, to keep this serenity, as if nothing existed but us, as if I could melt within him and become one.

“I wish I could.” Kissing my hair, he slid out of me, quickly closing and throwing away the used condom. Taking me back in his arms, he let me snuggle against him.

“You want to talk about it?” The magic was gone as a sharp pain pierced through my heart. Shaking my head no, I decided to push all the hurt away and concentrated on here and now. Here in Jasper’s bed, his embrace, his love. Now, right after our first time. As realization dawned on me, I began panicking.

God, what have I done?

“Jasper? Are you mad at me?”

“For trusting me to comfort you and giving yourself to me? No, I'm not."

Letting out a breath I was holding, I tried to wrap my mind on what he just said. How could he be so understanding? Shifting a little, he raised my chin towards him, obliging me to meet his intense gaze.

“I love you Edward." 

Four words to clarify everything: from his lack of anger, to his selflessness. Love. I was loved. Jasper loved me. I knew on our first date that his side was where I belonged, but I didn’t expect him to feel the same way so fast.

“I love you too.”

-- "All I Need"- Mat Kearney -- "Without You I'm Nothing"- Placebo

AN: All my love and thanks to my pre-reading/beta Dream Team: OCDJen and Mrs. Agget. 

I am also planning to have a collective hug with all of those who reviewed! I'll invite Jasper and Edward to join us:) See, I know how to make you happy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.