Jasper
I was floating like a light feather spinning around, following the drafts, up or down in the air. Far away from me was Edward’s anxious voice, giving directions as well as details about injuries. His comforting warmth attracted me as I was flying so cold in the airstream. Shivers made me fall down abruptly on the tarmac, killing my insubstantial form and resurrecting me in a wounded body, lying on the floor.
Damn, it hurts.
“Jasper?”
Groaning from the pain running all over my body, I tried to lift my head and turn on my back. Edward’s soft hand pressed delicately on my shoulder, as he said with a trembling voice:
“Please don’t move, Jazz. The ambulance is coming.”
Ambulance? Why do I need one?
Memories of the attack assaulted me, answering my questions, and all became suddenly really clear. Two guys had beaten me up as I walked to my car. Edward and I were supposed to have dinner together after a pretty emotional discussion about his fear of me leaving him. I was quite sure that seeing me lying injured, on the ground, didn’t help him forget his previous inquietudes.
“Love? I’m going to be ok.”
I couldn’t hear him, and didn’t dare moving to check on him. The only sign of his presence were his hands on me: one was squeezing mine tightly and the other caressing my shoulders gently.
“Edward? Do you hear me? I’ll be fine.”
He moved around me, positioning his face so I could see him. Tears were slowly rolling on his cheeks as his red eyes looked at me with pure tenderness tainted with sorrow.
Nodding, he brushed his knuckles on the side of my face, smiling sadly.
“They're coming. They will be there in a minute. Stay with me, ok?”
I squeezed his hand in answer, desolated by his worry but incapable to do anything about it for the moment.
Staying awake. For him, I could do that.
It was easier said than done though, as the pain increased with each passing minute and my eyelids desperately tried to shut down.
I fought against the shadows, focusing my attention on his kissable lips or his beautiful untamed hair.... Anything not to fall asleep.
“They're here.” Edward’s whisper was my cue to succumb and let the darkness overcome me.
---
The next time I woke up I was at the hospital, being examined by an intern, making sure nothing was broken. I looked worse than I actually was. I had a bad bruise on my back, where they kicked me, some cuts on my left eyebrow, and a huge lump on my head. But, luckily, no broken bones. Because of my concussion, the doctor decided to keep me for the night and informed me that no sleep was allowed for the next twelve hours. Edward, Bella, and Mum took turns waking me up and trying to chat with me, but everything was too blurry for me to actually remember. I didn’t even recall presenting Edward to them.
Not exactly the way I pictured introducing the man I love to my family.
Well, I didn’t imagine it with some policemen around either, but they were there as well. They arrived after the doctor finally authorized me to sleep and were surprised that I knew the name one of my aggressor.
“Royce King, fellow consultant in my company, and the only one who didn’t take my recent promotion very well.”
Scribbling on his notebook, one of the officers said, “It seems strange that he suddenly decided to aggress you, so long after your advancement. Why didn’t he snap at you earlier?”
Ah! The million dollar question!
“He discovered that I was gay only a week ago.”
As understanding fell on the police officers and I focused on Edward’s reactions. My brave lover was doing everything he could not to show the fear he felt at this revelation.
Stretching my hand, I called for him to try to get him out of his stupor.
“Hey…”
As the officers left, reminding me to come to the station in a few days to sign all the papers, Edward stepped towards me and grabbed my hand.
“I’m fine, Jazz. Don’t worry about me.”
“You look upset.”
“He attacked you because you're gay."
"No. He attacked me because he was frustrated and angry and he didn't know how to handle the situation. Me being gay was just the detonator. It wasn't the real reason, just an excuse, much like the last straw.”
Edward didn’t look convinced at all.
“Love, if he had known I was gay but he had gotten the promotion, he wouldn't have attacked me. So the cause for all of this isn't me being gay. I am even pretty sure the fact he was drunk and encouraged by a friend was the real reason why he suddenly decided to act upon his anger. It was just a bit too much for him."
He nodded but his face wasn’t showing any sign that he believed me.
“I was just so afraid to lose you.” The distress in his eyes was so intense that it was breaking my heart. I had been afraid too. I didn’t know if they would stop, and had been scared that it was it.
“I know. Me too.” Tugging him closer to me, I rest my head on his chest, listening to his heart, taking and giving comfort in our embrace.
“Let’s go home,” he murmured in my hair right after kissing it.
With a last caress, he detangled himself from me and began packing all the things my family had brought. I got up, and after a quick shower and getting dressed, we both went in the main corridor to sign the papers for my release and take my medicine prescription.
I was glad to have some pain relief pills, as I suffered from intense headache during the following days. I spent nearly all my time either sleeping it off or resting. And I had lots of time to think everything through. Too much time, in fact. I tried to stay calm in front of Edward, as I didn’t want him to be more upset than he already was. He was trying his best to stay strong and take care of everything. Mum was thoroughly impressed by him and Bella had already adopted him in the family. In front of me, he wasn’t showing any sign that something was wrong. But I knew. Not because I had a sixth sense and could feel his emotions from afar, but because late one night I caught a conversation he had on the phone with Emmet. He told me that Riley had called his brother the day after the event, as a way to apologize for his previous hurtful words. He insisted Edward needed someone he trusted by his side to help him be strong for me.
And he had been right. Edward had been a bit less tense after having Emmet on the phone and catching up with him. But he was still stressed. The way he was snuggling against me at night, never letting me go, always at reach, always touching me, was as well a good sign that he was still afraid. And I didn’t want to add to it.
After the initial shock of the attack, where my mind was blank and unable to process anything, I started over thinking everything. Why did I get this promotion and not him? Royce had been consultant for longer than I had and had some excellent records. He even signed some new contracts. I even knew that Irina, my boss, was smitten by him. I wasn’t a bad element obviously, I knew that my clients appreciated my job and had given some great reviews for me. I had also brought some new business to the company myself. But I was quite younger and Royce had always been the obvious choice.
Something is wrong here. Why didn’t I think about it earlier?
I knew why. Between my breakup with Felix and meeting Edward, I hadn’t had much time thinking about politics in the company, and I hadn’t really been present much except to do my work. My mind had been so much more on Edward and I had clearly changed my priorities after meeting him: Working became a means to an end and not the most important thing in my life.
Sighing, I got up and decided to get out for a while. Staying in the house in a near constant darkness because of my headaches wasn't going to help my mood. And maybe I could go and fetch Edward to have a nice dinner outside. The one we missed the other night.
After quickly getting ready, I locked the door of the flat. Stepping outside, I was dazzled by the sunlight and closed my eyes tightly to protect them. When I opened them again, I saw black spots everywhere before they slowly faded.
"Hey you! You're feeling better? No more headaches?"
Smiling at his voice, I turned to look at Edward and partially saw him, standing in front of me, all beautiful and smiling.
"Damn sun and damn black spots."
Shaking my head to try to regain my vision quicker, I felt Edward's hand on my arm.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, it's just..." It wasn't the sun. Closing my right eye, I realized that I couldn't see half of Edward features, as if a black veil had been drawn in front of me.
"We need to go back to the hospital."
---
It turned out I had a retina detachment. The concussion I had and the punches I received seemed to have caused it. But one of the doctors thought that I might have some genetic predisposition, even though I wasn't nearsighted. It was pretty serious actually, as I was admitted a few hours before completely losing sight in my left eye. But thankfully, it was treated on time. I couldn't help but damn myself for staying in the dark for the past few days. I could have seen it earlier. The headaches were a side effect of my heath problem, but as I had never even heard about retina detachment before, I had been unable to realize it was more than just basic headaches.
The possibility to become blind, even from only one eye had frightened me and made me realize how dangerous this attack could have been. The surgery had gone well, and for now I was safe, apart from losing a bit of sight and wearing glasses.
Glasses! Freaking glasses! Not even lenses!
My eyes couldn't take them due to the surgery for at least a year. So me, the guy who was so proud of his sight had to wear glasses. I wasn't allowed to do anything that could cause head trauma as well: no more boxing, no more roller coasters.... I knew it wasn't much: glasses, headaches, high-sensibility to light and inability to do activities that I wasn't doing anyway. But still.
This wasn't some random event. It didn't happen because I felt sick or because I made a mistake. It wasn't some unfortunate accident. No, someone intentionally hurt me. I was the target. Royce wanted to harm ME.
And why? He hadn’t attacked me when he found out he lost his promotion. He hadn’t done it when I signed a few contracts he was supposed to. He even hadn’t lost his temper when I moved into the office he was supposed to have. No. He aggressed me when he found out I was gay, after seeing me one evening in the street kissing Edward. That's when he attacked me.
And it was torturing me. It was infuriating me. It was the reason I had nearly lost my eye.
I had tried to find excuses for his behavior, to rationalize it. I had even nearly managed to convince Edward. But it sometimes seemed too hard to forgive.
I suddenly winced at the newborn headache I had, this time due to my rambling. I was lying on my hospital bed, missing the comforting presence of Edward. I was pretty much blind with my left eye protected by a patch and my right eye with a dilated pupil.
"Edward?"
"He went out a few minutes. I'm Emmet, his brother."
Opening my valid eye, I saw a dark, tall and broad form standing at the end of my bed. I closed it again, the lights in the room aggressing me.
This guy is way too big to be Edward's little brother!
"Hi Emmet! I guess you know who I am."
As I sat down and fumbled around to find the bed remote and put the bed on a sitting position, I heard Emmet walking closer to me.
"Yeap, Edward can't shut up about you. Here, the remote." He added, brushing it against my hand.
"Thanks."
He had a loud voice, and a musky scent, and he didn't sound shy at all.
So different from Edward…
"You know Jasper, if you wanted Edward to play your fantasy of the naughty nurse, you could have just ask instead of getting all beaten up."
Ok... I guess different was the understatement of the year...
"Yeah, maybe, but I like to be as close to reality as possible."
A booming laugh welcomed my reply, making me cringe in surprise.
"Emmet! Could you be any louder? Seriously!" Edward was back. He quickly walked to my side and took my hand. His voice was full of fake annoyance and quite cheerful. I could picture him smiling as his delicious and comforting perfume, a mixed of crushed seashell and sandalwood, washed over me, making me sigh in contentment.
"I like your boyfriend, Edwaragus!"
"Emmet..." Edward's tone was menacing.
"Edwaragus?" This unexpected nickname cracked me up.
"Emmet, don't!" Edward sounded more and more pissed.
"What? Jazz needs to know whom he is dating. You can't buy a product if you don't know it well."
"First, I am not a product and second..."
Amused, I asked, "Emmet, please explain."
Edward growled at my side, probably looking at me with a murderous gaze, as Emmet chuckled loudly once again.
"Edward looks like an asparagus: all lean and thin with a mop of hair on the top."
"Shut up Mr. Bean!"
I couldn't help but laugh at their antics, as they started arguing and calling each other names so fast that I lost track of the conversation. It was just refreshing to think about something else that the recent drama and live normally again.
---
I was home, sitting on the sofa, trying to relax while listening to one of Edward favorite bands, Nouvelle Vague. Edward was somewhere in the flat. He left me after a tender kiss, promising to come back quickly. We hadn't touched each other for nearly a week now. At first, I wasn't really in the mood because of the persistent headaches I got, this time due to my low resistance to light thanks to my constantly dilated pupils. But lately, I had felt a lot better and missed being close to Edward. Afraid to cause me pain or discomfort, he hadn't done anything to push me, but would cuddle against me, kissing me everywhere until he felt it might be too much and stopped altogether.
He was slowly but surely driving me crazy with need, and I had all the intentions to remedy it that night. He had been so incredibly attentive and loving since my aggression that I felt even more blessed to have him in my life. Unable to see after my surgery, I had to rely a lot on him, and he never once complained. He was even trying hard to help me without really showing it. I didn't like being mollycoddle, and he knew it. So he discretely tried to find ways to facilitate my life, probably thinking that I didn't realize that things I needed would magically appear very close to my hands, or that chairs and obstacles had been pushed away for me not to step on them and get hurt. Anyway, in case I really hadn't noticed, Bella or Mum would make a point to tell me all the little things "this adorable man of yours" was doing for me. They were so enamored of him that it was nearly annoying. Thank God I had Emmet on my side and his constant teasing of Edward to balance this family injustice.
Me being blind could have some nice benefits, though. Not in everyday life but in our sex life, such as having Edward being more daring. He clearly wasn't a virgin when we started dating but he wasn't really experienced either. The first time he blew me, he did it in a fully dark room. And when I came in his mouth, craving to see him, I turned the light on and saw him blushing bright red.
When the lights were off, he was always more daring, saying or doing things that would completely surprise and excite me. He once whispered in my ear: "I love it when you say "mine" and go all cave man on me." I was about to fall asleep but my sudden arousal woke me up full force. I kissed him deeply, desperate to be inside of him.
Some shuffling in the room brought me back to the present. Edward padded to me and sat on my lap, facing me with a knee on each side of my legs.
"You're comfortable?"
I nodded my answer, impatient to have my hands on Edward’s warm body. I slowly trailed my fingers on his thighs and had the pleasant surprise to find them bare. Smiling, I carried on my exploration of his soft skin to discover that he was completely naked. Resting my hands on the small of his back, I pulled him to me.
“To what do I owe the honor of your divine nakedness, Love?”
He chuckled, hiding his face in my neck, unmistakably embarrassed.
"You seem to have recovered well; you don’t have many headaches lately and your bruises are nearly healed."
"They are."
"So I thought, maybe, if you let me, I could…" His whisper sent shivers in my neck as I trailed on his skin to find his bare ass. I took time caressing him, enjoying the silky feel of his skin. Wanting to tease him, I reached for his hole and found it all lubed up. I groaned as Edward whimpered at my touch, pressing his chest on mine.
Thrilled by my finding, I let one finger enter hot heaven. He was all slick and ready for me.
"You prepared yourself for me?"
Edward nodded, his breathing quickening, pulling all his body closer to mine. When his hard cock touched mine, through my sweatpants, he moaned. Biting my lips to suppress mine, I pushed a second finger in him, facing no resistance, and was rewarding by him crying out my name.
"How did you do it? Were you in the bathroom?"
He shook his head no.
"Where then? Describe it to me."
"No!" He pleaded.
"Why? Imagining you getting all wet for me is a total turn on, Love. So tell me."
"I can't. It's too embarrassing."
I started grinding against him, pressing my fully erect cock against his and thrusting my fingers in and out of him. His soft cries directly in my ears aroused me even more. With one sense unavailable, the other ones were heightened, and filled me with delicious details: the rising warm of his skin as he got more and more excited, the wetness on my t-shirt due to his leaking cock rubbing on me, the mouth-watering scent of him, naked, slightly sweaty, a concentrate of Edward in each breath.
Finally one reason to appreciate my blindness!
Thrusting into him, I asked again, "I want to know, Edward. I can’t see, so you can’t show me. So tell me, Love. Did you bend over the sink in the kitchen and fingered yourself?"
"Jazz, please…"
As Edward didn't seem to want to answer me, I thought of a way to encourage him. I curled my fingers and looked for his prostate. His loud moan and the way he grabbed tightly my shoulders gave out that I found it.
"You like that?"
He nodded furiously.
"You are so ready for me: your leaking cock, your lubed up ass, so ready to welcome me inside… I love when you are like that."
Edward was past any coherent thoughts by now, mewling and trembling in my arms.
I pulled my fingers out of him, pushing his hips back so he couldn’t rub against me anymore. His face left the shelter of my neck, his hands catching my shoulders to stabilize him, as small keening noises escaped his lips.
“Jasper?” He sounded surprised and confused.
"Tell me.”
He was shifting on my lap. I felt his breath on my lips a few seconds before he touched mine. I couldn’t get trapped into his intoxicating kiss; I would lose myself and forget everything. I needed to focus and have him desperate enough to talk to me.
I moved back, using my fingers to trail my way to his face and to gently but firmly keep him away from me. His breath came in little pants as I cradled the side of his face with one hand and used my thumb to caress his bottom lips. His tongue darted out and licked me as I came closer to him. I was a breath away from him, bathing in his heady aroma.
“I am waiting, Love.”
With a last low and whining sound, he surrendered. I could barely hear him when he whispered, "I bent over the bed, in front of the mirror.”
Damn, he is killing me!
I had to swallow all the wetness in my mouth: the mental image of him preparing himself, in front of the freaking mirror, was forever graved behind my eyelids.
“The mirror?” I nearly didn’t recognize my own voice, so raw and needy.
“Hmm…I needed to see what I was doing.”
Biting my lips, I stifled my moans, while feeling my cock harden at his description. To reward him, I brushed lightly my knuckles on his shaft, before passing my thumb over it to collect his pre-cum.
I felt him arch on me. I could picture him, head falling backward, eyelids nearly close, mouth open, gasping for air.
God I wish I could see him!
The sudden urge to be connected with him was too strong to resist, and I just couldn’t help but taste him. Licking my fingers full of his pre-cum, I lost myself in Edward’s scent. My olfactive heaven was broken by his hungry kiss, as he ripped my fingers out and replaced them by his demanding tongue.
Pulling back, he gasped, "Jasper, please, more…"
"Lift up, Love."
I pushed my sweat pants under my ass, freeing my hard cock. My pants still around my thighs, I fumbled on his body, finding a nipple to tease on the way, before finally grabbing his neck and kissing him deeply. Pulling back slightly, I licked from his swollen lips to his left ear and whispered, “Do you have some lube and condoms?”
I felt him nod against me, his heavy pants tingling the skin of my neck. I took off my shirt, giving him time to put the condom and some lube on me.
"Come here."
Stoking his back, I murmured on his lips, "Take me inside you."
He took my sheathed length in his hand and placed it right above his hole. He sank on me slowly, helped by my hands on his cheeks. My shaft entered him without much effort, seeking his soft warmth. Low moans and shattered breaths escaped both our lips as he sat on my lap, taking me incredibly deep, a silky vice tightening around me. Getting comfortable, he moved a little on my lap, enticing a groan from me as I grabbed his hips too tight.
God, how I love being inside him.
He was now moving in circles around my cock, making me systematically touch his prostate. Each times I brushed it, he would cry out and tremble. And each time, his thick cock pressed against my abs, letting small drops of his wetness flow down on me.
Wetting my hand with my tongue, I took his shaft in my fist. He was shivering in my arms, his head back in the shelter of my neck, goose bumps spreading all over his body. Moving my fingers up and down his cock, I whispered, "Give me a rhythm. Slow, fast? Show me how you want it."
Complying with my desire, he raised himself off me and then dropped agonizingly slow back on me. I tried to stay concentrate and mimicked his movement, catching my breath each time he sat back on my lap.
After a few more slow thrusts, I was ready to beg him to quicken his speed.
Fortunately, I didn't have to. Shuffling on my lap, he squatted on me, his feet probably flat on the sofa. His hands clasped behind my neck, using me as leverage. I was moaning louder and louder, unable to pretend anymore that I was in charge.
In this position, I was deeper in him than I even thought possible. He was so tight, so warm, so freaking hot. I couldn't get enough of him. And I would be unable to stop from cuming if he kept it up that way.
He increased the rhythm, not even taking a second to rest on my lap before lifting up again. My hand on his shaft was following his lead and I sped up my movement until he arched on me, deliciously tensing around me as he came. I followed right away, his sticky release on my hand.
He collapsed on me, out of breath, his heart beating so loud in his chest that he echoed in mine. I hugged him, nuzzling his shoulder, kissing him lightly between shaky breaths.
"Wow, that was hot."
"Yes. Next time, its my turn to be blind," he purred in my ear.
-- "Unfinished Sympathy" and "Sly" - Massive Attack
Hugs, dozen of loving kisses, and thank you to my wonderful pre-reading/beta Dream Team: OCDJen and Mrs. Agget. I wish you the best in your life: Love, health and caring friends and family.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
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